Tag do you even lift comebacks

Do you even lift?

“Do you even Lift?”

It’s the ultimately douchebag line.  It stops people in their tracks and makes them think.  It’s extremely difficult to have a comeback to the line.  Aside from “Do you?” which doesn’t seem to have much counter punch

Here a bunch of fun ways you can use the Do you even question.  These scenarios are a great exercise of your Douchebag skills

Lifting and Furniture – Do you even lift?

Moving is a good time to use the “Do you even Lift?” line. As it acts as an immediate statement of humiliation for the other party.  Since they likely already winded and tired.  You can emphasize this by actually not holding your side of the load as easily.  Alternatively demonstrate some incredible feat of strength to hammer in this point.  However that requires that you in fact lift.

For instance :

– Your buddy picks up one set of boxes.
– You grab 5 just to outdo him.
– As you drop the boxes, stare at him for about 5 seconds.
– Wait until he looks at you and says “What?”.
– Shake your head in disappointment and ask “Do you even lift?”

After a fight – Do you even Lift?

No better way to use this line after a fight.  It could be a friendly wrestling match between friends.   Also it could be a serious streetfight.  DISCLAIMER : ONLY USE THIS LINE IF YOU ACTUALLY WIN THE FIGHT. OTHERWISE YOU CAN BE DUE FOR ANOTHER ASS KICKING.

Scenario :

– Get in a brawl with another dude
– After it’s all good and done and you’ve won, help him up.
– He might to start to complement you on your fighting style and strength to make the peace.
– Laugh and jest with him to smooth over the situation and release all tension.
– His facial expressions will reveal that his emotional guard is down again.
– Put your hand on his shoulder showing sympathy.  Look him in the eye and say “Bro…I gotta ask you…Do you even lift?”

At nightclub when you’re trying to steal away a guys girlfriend – Do you even lift?

Nightclubs are a great way to fight douchebag fire with fire.  It’s the ultimate place to pray on the insecurity of wannabe tough guys.  Mind you that people are drinking here.  So the liquid courage might be a little higher.  So you might end up in a fight.  But after you win the fight you can always utilize scenario #2 of using “Do you even lift” after winning.

– Enter a nightclub.
– Scan the room for hot girls.
– Find a girl who looks like she is with her boyfriend.
– If they are in holding hands or embracing even better.
– Approach the girl and start flirting at her.
– The boyfriend might start to stare at you in disgust.
– Return his stare briefly and continue to talk to the girl.
– If you feel the interaction is going well, you can try to make out with her or ask for her number.
– At this point the boyfriend might get in your face and start to puff his chest at you
– Slowly look at him up and down.
– Pause for 2 seconds then smile.
– He might then ask you “What are you smiling at?”
– Then is the perfect time to say “Do you even lift?”

When a buddy is complaining how sore he is from a workout – Do you even lift?

When people workout and complain about how sore they are it’s a badge of honour.  As we like to be able to show off to our friends by how hard we are working.  Along with rubbing in our face on how they are better than than us.  Even if they are lifting this line is worth saying. Because it makes them feel insecure they are not working hard enough.  Even better if they say they ran 10k or swam 200 miles.

– Having a beer with your friend.
– He moans and massages his arm in soreness
– He starts discussing how hard he worked out.
– Burst into hysterical laughter. See examples of how Tom Cruise laughs. With a loud HA HA HA that crescendos into different levels.
– After your laughter dies down.  Look at your friend quiet seriously and say “Do you even lift?”

These are just some ideas on how to take the spring out of someones step.  How to ruin their day when they have been working so hard.  Being a douchebag can be tons of fun.  However end of the day it’s all in good fun.  Make sure to let people know you are really just joking 🙂